Close To Home
by purplepagoda
Summary: A horrific case. An unbelievable perp. It brings up questions, and starts interesting conversations. But for one of these NCIS agents it's all too familiar, because it hits too close to home. Will Ziva's past come back to haunt her?
1. Callous

They step into the house. Gibbs leads the pack. He stops ten feet from the door. They stop dead in their tracks. They look around the living room. Holes in the wall. Broken pictures. Glass shattered on the floor. The carpet stained with blood. A glass coffee table broken into hundreds of pieces. Blood all over. The walls, the couch. On the door. Leading from the living room, into the kitchen. A pathway of destruction leading into the bedroom. Bullet holes in the victim, in the walls, and even in a cabinet.

They survey the scene before them. Tony turns to Gibbs. He shakes his head. He briefly looks at the dead body, on top of what's left of the coffee table. "Where would you like us to start? There isn't even a path."

"We take pictures of everything. There is a lot of glass, so be careful. I don't want a single thing touched until everything is photographed, then we can start processing."

"Who does something like this?" McGee asks.

"Someone with a lot of rage," Ziva answers.

"Someone had a problem with Petty Officer Jonas."

Four hours later they're still processing the crime scene. Ducky has taken the body away for autopsy. Gibbs has dropped off a load of evidence to Abby, to sift through. They're finishing up on the living room when someone knocks on the door. They turn and look. No one was supposed to be there. Who knocked on a door covered in crime scene tape? Gibbs turns around, and pull the door open. A woman stands in front of him.

"Can I help you?"

"I think that I can help you."

"And who are you?"

"Gina Hart. I live next door. I just got home."

"You realize that this is a crime scene?"

"Yes. I assume that means that Grant is dead."

"He was murdered."

"I know who did it."

"You know who did it?"

"Her name is Ashlee Keller."

"Why do you think that she did it?"

"I know she did it."

"You saw her last night?"

"I saw her, and I heard her, screaming at him."

"Screaming about what?"

"I don't know. I couldn't make out what she was saying."

Gibbs pulls out a card, he hands it to her, "If you can think of anything else, let me know."

She nods, and walks away.

"DiNozzo, David..."

"Go find out everything there is to know about Ashlee Keller," DiNozzo answers.

McGee, and Gibbs arrive back at the Navy yard an hour later. When Gibbs comes into the squad room he stops at the plasma. Tony jumps up from their seats, and join him. Tony uses the clicker.

"Ashlee Keller, eighteen, from Alexandria," DiNozzo begins.

"You expect me to believe an eighteen year old girl did this?" Gibbs questions.

"Ziva is picking her up now."

"DiNozzo you think that she is capable of what we saw earlier?"

"I don't know."

"What's the background?"

"I don't know. There isn't much to go on. I know that Ashlee Keller is the same age as Grant Jonas' sister Gabrielle."

"Does she have a criminal record?"

"No."

McGee hangs up the phone, at his desk.

"Boss, Ziva is back. She has Ashlee Keller in interrogation."

Gibbs walks away. He goes into the observation room on the other side of the interrogation room. He looks at Ziva. Then he looks to the girl on the other side of the glass. Petite blonde, with dark circles under her eyes.

"She's yours," Gibbs says.

Ziva looks up at him, in bewilderment. "Are you sure about that?"

"She's going to be more willing to talk to you."

"I don't like pretending to be sympathetic."

"Ziva, go."

She leaves the room. She walks into the interrogation room, and takes a seat, on the other side of the table.

"Do you know why you're here?"

"You told me that Grant Jonas was murdered."

"Yes."

"You have questions for me?" she guesses.

"Yes," Ziva answers.

"You're wasting your time."

"Why?"

"Because I... I killed him."

"You're admitting to killing him?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any idea what you're saying?" Ziva wonders.

"I know what I'm saying. I know what I did."

"Why?"

"I was angry, I was furious. I couldn't take it anymore. I went there, to talk to him."

"To scream at him," Ziva corrects.

"And things just got out of control. I couldn't control myself."

"Why? What did he do to you, to make you so angry?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"You don't know that."

"I am a supposed to be looking forward to graduation. I'm supposed to be getting ready to go to college. I should be excited about what my future holds. Because of him, I'm not."

"What do you mean?"

"Grant's sister was my best friend, for as long as I can remember. Grant is four years older. On his sister's fourteenth birthday we had a sleep over. He was getting ready to ship out. Gabby had fallen asleep, and I went into the kitchen for a drink. He was in the living room, and we started talking," she trails off.

"That made you kill him?"

"He left. He served his country. He did his time, and now he has a life. He's free. I am never going to be free."

"What are you talking about?"

"He told me that he was afraid he was going to die. He said that he wanted his last night before he left to be special. He fed me a load of crap, and I bought it. I was too young to know that he was taking advantage of me. Every single day, I wake up, and I wish that I could take that night back. I wish that I could go back in time, and change things, but I can't. I can't change things. I never should have believed him. I am the one who has to deal with all the consequences. He refused to do anything."

"Consequences? What consequences are you talking about?"

Ashlee grabs her bag. She pulls out her wallet, and takes out a picture. She slides it across the table, to Ziva.

"Madison. That is the consequence I am talking about. She was born on my fifteenth birthday. I was supposed to get to go to homecoming, to prom. I was supposed to be on the honor roll, and get scholarships, and go to college. But I can't. I had to give all of that up. And I just got sick of it. I love her, but... I'm still a kid. I just wanted to be a kid. He took that from me. He came back, and all I asked was that he would take her one night a week. Just one. He wouldn't do it. He wouldn't even see her. He refused to take a DNA test."

"What happened last night?"

"I went to his house. I was upset, because he convinced his sister, my best friend, that I was lying. That he didn't do anything wrong, that he isn't Madison's father. Gabby is the only friend in the world that I have, and he took that from me too. I just went there to convince him to tell the truth. But he wouldn't. He told me to leave, he called my little girl a bastard, and... I lost it."

"Where did you get the gun?"

"It was his. He had just gotten back from the batting cages. I started hitting things. I started throwing things. I hit him in the shins, and in the knees. He was too shocked to do anything. He reached for the bat, and I grabbed the gun off the coffee table. And I shot him. I shot him, until the magazine was empty."

"How many shots?"

She pauses for a moment, "Six."

"Six?"

"One in the wall. One in his head. One in his shoulder. One in his knee cap. One below the belt. One in the stomach."

"In what order."

"The wall first, just to scare him, but he wasn't. He just laughed. Then the one to below the belt. Followed by the one to the knee. Then the one to the stomach, and then to the shoulder."

"Four shots, he was incapacitated, and you shot him again? He would have bled out."

"I waited. I stood over him for a couple of minutes, as he choked on his own blood. he begged me for his life. But I told him if I couldn't have mine, that he couldn't have his. And I shot him in the head. Right between the eyes."

"Where were you when you shot him, in the head?"

"I was standing over him."

"What else did you do to him?"

"I told you I hit him with a baseball bat. In the shins, the knee, in the jaw, in the nose, in the back."

"And he didn't fight back?"

"He was too drunk to fight back. I started by just breaking the bottles around him."

"Do you realize what you've done?"

"I killed him."

"You are going to spend the rest of your life in prison, for what you did to him. Your child is going to grow up without ever knowing you. I understand that you are young, and you wanted your life back, but this was not the way to do it. Your little girl, is going to grow up, without a mother. What kind of life is she going to have? With her father dead, and her mother in prison?"

"She'll be fine."

"How do you know?"

"My parents will take care of her. They love her. She was my mistake, but she's perfect. My mother, she wouldn't even let me name her. My own daughter, and I wasn't allowed to name her. I went back to school a week after she was born. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. My mother made me, she stayed home with Madison. I never asked for that. I made a mistake, but I wanted the chance to fix it, and no one would give me that chance."

Ziva pushes her chair out. She walks away, she leaves the room. Gibbs comes out of observation, and passes her in the hallway. She makes her way to Abby's lab.


	2. Unburying The Past

Tony exits the observation room, and follows behind her. When she reaches Abby's doorway she spins around, and looks at him.

"Why are you following me?"

"Why are you running?"

"Did you just hear what she told me?"

"Yes. You don't believe her?"

"I do."

"Then what's the problem?"

"That is the problem," she turns around and walks into Abby's lab. He follows her.

"I don't have anything for the two of you, yet," Abby announces.

"We already have confession," Ziva reveals.

"That was record time."

"His murderer is an eighteen year old girl," Tony adds.

"What did he do to her?" Abby questions.

"He got her pregnant. He took away her childhood, her innocence," Ziva answers in disgust.

"How old was she?"

"Eighteen," Tony replies.

"She was fourteen, when she got pregnant," Ziva responds.

"Fourteen?" Abby raises an eyebrow.

"Abby how old were you when you..." Tony trails off as Ziva shoots him a death glare.

"I was old enough to know what I was getting myself into. Old enough to drive a car."

"Abby you were driving at ten," DiNozzo reminds.

"Legally," Abby amends, "How old were you, Tony?"

"Sixteen, I think."

"You think?" Abby studies him.

"It's hard to remember. It was such a long time ago."

"I forgot how old you were," Abby jests.

"How about you, Ziva? How old were you?"

Her eyes lock on his. She stares at him. He tries to read her mind, but it proves futile. She clenches her jaw, shakes her head, and walks away. As she walks through the doorway she breaks the silence.

"Don't follow me, this time," she warns.

He doesn't. He stays in the lab. He looks at Abby, unsure of what to say. She purses her lips.

"Tony, sometimes you should just keep your mouth shut."

"Obviously, I struck a chord, there."

"Ya, think?"

"I say dumb things all the time, without thinking. She doesn't usually storm off, like that."

"Did you ever consider that maybe, she just doesn't want to talk about it?"

"Yes, but I don't like that answer."

"Just give her time, I'm sure that she'll be fine. She's just upset over the case, and you being an idiot."

"I can't believe that kid could do something like that. I mean she is still just a kid."

"One who is going to spend the rest of her life in prison."

"I can't say that I blame her. He took advantage of her. She was young, and naive. She had to deal with the consequences, while he was off playing war."

"Where were her parents?" Abby poses an important question.

"When she got pregnant?"

"And while she was murdering petty officer Jonas?"

"I'm going to go find that out, before Gibbs asks," he responds.

Hours later he's sitting at his desk. He looks up, at his boss, who sits quietly at his desk.

"Boss? Where did Ziva go? She's been gone for hours."

"She went home."

"She didn't say anything to me."

"She was upset, I sent her home."

"You think that I should go talk to her?"

"I don't know, DiNozzo, what do you think? She's _your_ partner."

"Right," he nods.

"If she were my partner, I would be concerned," he adds.

DiNozzo grabs his stuff, and heads for the elevator. Ten minutes later he arrives at her apartment. He knocks on the door.

"It's open," she calls out.

He turns the knob, and steps inside. He closes the door behind himself. He finds her sitting on her couch, flipping through the channels. He stops about three feet away from her. He clears his throat, and begins the conversation.

"Why did you leave the door unlocked?"

"Because A, I have a gun, more than one, and B, I was expecting you."

"It's nice to know that I am so predictable."

"You're a good partner."

"Why did you come home? You never willingly do that."

"Gibbs sent me home."

"You had a concussion, and refused to go home."

"I am fine. I just needed... I needed some air."

"Ziva what is going on? What about this case bothers you so much?"

"Everything. It all bothers me. She's eighteen years old. She has a three year old. She was taken advantage of. She killed someone who deserved to be dead. She should be going off to college, but instead, she's going off to prison, for the rest of her life."

"Maybe not the rest of her life. Maybe she'll plead out."

"So maybe in twenty years she'll get the possibility of parole."

"Probably not, once they tack on the other charges."

"Other charges? What charges?"

"Child Endangerment."

"What are you talking about?"

"Madison was asleep in the back seat of the car, the whole time she was murdering Grant. The car was off, and it was about forty five degrees last night. Then Ashlee drove to a nearby laundry-mat, and ditched her clothes, and stole someone else's, while the little girl was in the car."

"He got what he deserved. Did you look at the text messages, and emails he sent her?"

"I read them. They were terrible. And the one who suffers the most, is an innocent little girl."

"The innocent are always the ones who suffer the most. Can we talk about something else?"

"Like what?"

"I don't care, anything."

"You hungry?"

"Not really."

"Do you want to go for a drink?"

"No, that would probably end badly."

"You think?"

"I know."

"So what do you propose we talk about?"

"Anything, but work, or the case."

"That's all I've got."

"Talk about some insipid movie that you know every little detail about."

"What movie?"

"Tony, I don't care, any movie."

"Oh, I answered your phone while you were gone."

"My phone? Tony I have my phone."

"The one at your desk."

"Why would you answer my phone?"

"Because someone called like six times, and let it ring about ten times, each call. Finally I decided that for the sake of sanity, that I would answer."

"Do you have any boundaries?"

"Do you?"

"Did you take a message?"

"Are you asking if I wrote something down?"

"Yes."

"No, but I can tell you anything you want to know. I am actually glad I answered your phone."

"Why, who was it? The president."

"No, do you know the president?"

"Maybe," she shrugs.

"I wouldn't be impressed, if you did."

"Of course not. Who was it?"

"Someone I have never talked to before."

"You have never talked to most of the people that I know."

"I think that I should meet her."

"Meet her? Why?"

"Because I think that it would only be fair."

"Who called?"

"Your mother."

"My mother? Called me at work?"

"She said you weren't answering your cell phone."

"I didn't hear it ring," she pulls it out of her pocket.

He looks at it, "That's because it's dead."

"What did she want?"

"She said that she needed you to call her back, as soon as possible, because it was important."

"Why didn't you call me, and tell me?"

"I did. I even left you a voicemail, but your phone is dead, so you didn't get it."

"What is so important that I need to call her back?"

"You don't talk to her very often, do you?"

"Only when I have to."

"Why is that?"

"We don't exactly see eye to eye, about some things, some important things."

"Like your career choices?"

"Among many other things. What did she want?"

"Um... let's see, she said that you needed to call her asap. She even said asap, come to think of it. Her English is great..."

"She's lived here for years."

"She lives in D.C.?"

"In America. She lives in Florida, with my step-father. What did she want?"

"Right. She said that you needed to call, because it had something to do with Caleb."

"What did it have to do with him?"

"She wouldn't say, she just said that it was urgent."

"Great."

"Ziva, who is Caleb?"

She locks eyes with him. Her facial expression changes, and all the color drains from her face. He immediately picks up on the changes. She doesn't answer him. He breaks the silence.

"Ziva, did you hear me? Who is Caleb?" He asks again.

"I heard you," she says flatly.

"And the answer?"

"I need your phone."

He hands her his phone, and watches her walk out of the room with it. She leaves the room, with a panic-stricken look on her face. He sits down on the couch, as she closes the door to her bedroom.


	3. If You Only Knew

He waits on her couch, in silence for ten minutes. Finally she comes out of the bedroom, and hands him his phone. She lowers herself onto the coffee table. She makes eye contact, signaling to him that she's serious.

"Tell me," he insists.

"I have made a lot of mistakes, in my life."

"Everyone has."

"Not like this," she argues.

"This case hit too close to home?"

"Yes," she nods.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," he reassures her.

"I know, but you can never tell anyone else."

"Ok," he agrees.

"I was fourteen," she answers.

"When?"

"To answer your question from earlier."

"Oh. I see," he replies, suppressing the urge to gasp.

"I don't think you know the half of it."

"So tell me."

"I convinced my mother, to let me be a foreign exchange student, for three months."

"Where?"

"Florida."

"And?"

"The girl was my age. She had an older brother. He was seventeen, or eighteen. The night I left for the airport she had a track meet out of town, so her brother drove me. We got to the airport early, and we had time to kill. He told me that he wanted to give me a going away present. I liked him, I thought that he was cute. When he kissed me, I thought that was the going away present, but it wasn't."

"So this case hit way too close to home?"

"He definitely gave me a going away present."

"It was a bad experience?"

"It was terrible. It was sloppy, and quick, and... it just wasn't what I imagined."

"He took your innocence."

"I... I wasn't the same person after that."

"How do you mean?"

"My life changed. I didn't want it to, but it did. Sometimes there are things that you just can't stop."

"Like what?" he furrows his brow.

"Some parting gifts last longer than others. I don't think that they are supposed to include morning sickness, but..." she trails off.

"But?"

"Mine did," she reveals.

"You were fourteen?"

"Yes."

"What did Eli say?"

"I didn't tell him," she admits.

"And your mother?"

"I almost didn't tell her. At first I was in complete denial about the whole thing. Once I realized that it wasn't going away, I... I felt ashamed. I didn't want her to know. So I hid it from her."

"For how long?"

"Months. She found out on my fifteenth birthday."

"That's when you chose to tell her?"

"I didn't tell her. She wanted to take me shopping for my birthday, and I didn't want to go. When she asked me why... I started crying. I told her that nothing fit. She thought that it was because I was growing. I made the mistake of telling her that I couldn't even make my pants button. She didn't believe me, so she made me show her."

"That's how she found out?"

"And she thought she could fix it."

"Fix it?"

"She thought that I would want to fix it, but... I didn't."

"Why is it that you have never mentioned this?"

"It is a touchy subject. I don't like to talk about it. I hate even thinking about it."

"Why?"

"Because then I have to think about all of the things that I did wrong. All of the selfish things that I did. I made so many mistakes, and I wish that I could take them back."

"That's what the look was, in the interrogation room?"

"What look?" she questions.

"You had this look on your face, that I couldn't discern. You identified with the victim. And you didn't want me to see that, you didn't want Gibbs to see that."

"There are a lot of things about me, that I don't want you to see."

"I know."

"This is different. Of all the things I have done. Of all of the decisions I have made, this is the one I wish that I could change. I have done a lot of bad things. I have taken a lot of lives. And, yet this is the thing that I would change."

"I get it, but you can't be so hard on yourself. You were a kid."

"It doesn't matter."

"So this is why you don't talk to your mother?"

"I don't talk to her, because I have never been able to forgive her, for the choices that she forced me to make. I wish that I had other options."

"What options did she give you?"

"It was too late, to end it, not that I wanted to. She wanted me to, but I refused. So she told me that I could give him up for adoption, or she would raise him. She thought that she was protecting me. She wanted me to get to have the remainder of my childhood. She didn't want me to resent him, but... it wasn't that simple. Any child who has one of their own, is no longer a child."

"I don't know what to say," he admits.

"There is nothing to say. I made bad choices. I was fifteen when he was born."

_February 18th, 1998_

_She sits in a hospital room. Her mother sits in a chair, holding the newborn baby boy. _

_"Are you done?" she questions._

_Her mother looks up at her, "Done?"_

_"Holding him?"_

_"No."_

_"I want to hold him."_

_"Ziva, I don't think that is a good idea."_

_"I want to hold my baby."_

_"Ziva I..."_

_"Now!" _

_She rises from the chair, and walks across the room. She stops at Ziva's bedside. She places the bundle in her arms. _

_"We're going to call him Zachariah," her mother reveals._

_Ziva looks at the sleeping baby, and then up to her mother. She shakes her head, "No, we're not. He is my baby. I am going to name him," she argues._

_"Ziva..."_

_"No. We are not going to call him Zachariah. I've told you that a hundred times. His name is Caleb."_

_"I think that..."_

_"I don't want to do this. I am his mother."_

_"You are fifteen. You have no idea what it takes, to be someone's mother. You are not ready to be his mother. It is better this way. You don't really have any other choices, do you?"_

_"This isn't fair. He's mine."_

_"Life isn't fair."_

_"You don't think that I know that? I am fifteen, and I have a baby. I was in labor for thirty-six hours, and when he was born you wouldn't even let me hold him. And now you're telling me that I can't name him? That it's better if I'm not his mother?"_

* * *

><p>He looks at her. She exhales.<p>

"You were her baby, she was trying to do what she thought was right," he justifies it to her.

"But she didn't. The second I turned eighteen I left. I couldn't be in the same house with her, anymore. When I came home, she wouldn't even let me see him. After Tali died, she decided that it wasn't safe anymore, so she took him, and moved to Florida."

"Did you try to get him back?"

"How? I was already at Mossad by then. My father, didn't know about him. My mother took him out of the country. What was I going to do? Kill her? That wasn't an option."

"Are you angry at her, or are you angry with yourself?"

"Some days I don't even know. Sometimes I wonder if she was right. Maybe I had no place being his parent. Maybe it was best for him..."

"But?"

"The voice in the back of my head always says that it wasn't."

"Are you sure that Eli doesn't know?"

"Why do you ask?"

"It seems convenient the way things worked out. You were at Mossad, so you couldn't risk going to get him."

"My mother stopped talking to my father when I was young."

"Maybe I'm just paranoid."

"You think that he knows?"

"I am just saying, as much as your father knows, I would be surprised if he didn't. I mean he couldn't risk his greatest asset, for some kid."

"You're right, he probably does know. Caleb is twelve."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"I haven't seen him since he was seven. She won't let me see him, anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because I tried to take him with me."

"So why did she call you, about him?"

"Because he doesn't want to live with her, anymore. He wants to live with me."

"He knows?"

"He's always known, and it kills her."

Ziva's phone rings. She finds it on the counter, plugged in to the outlet.

"You plugged my phone in?"

"I saw the charger on the counter."

She looks at the number on the caller I.D.

"Hello? Slow down. Why? What's wrong? You found what? How long?" she looks down at his watch, "Yeah, I'll meet him at the airport. No, I'm not sending him back. No, I'm not. I'm not playing this game anymore," she curses in Hebrew, and then hangs up.


	4. Nothing Like You

_A/N: In the last chap I said that Caleb was 12, but if you do the math he's actually 13. Sorry, my mistake. _

* * *

><p>They flash their badges, to get through airport security. They race towards the gate, and watch as the aircraft deplanes. He stands next to his partner. She looks at him, briefly, with the look of anxiety, and relief, all in one.<p>

"What does he look like?" he questions.

"I..."

"Does he look like you?" Tony clarifies.

"No, he doesn't look like me, not really."

"Meaning?"

"He's got my nose, and my lips, and the rest comes from somewhere else."

"How am I supposed to spot him, if I don't know what to look for?"

"Just keep a look out."

"That's not very helpful."

"He's probably wearing a Buccaneers t-shirt. That is his favorite team."

"It's not football season," he points out.

"That doesn't matter to him. He is a die-hard fan."

Droves of people walk past them. Eventually the crowd dies down, and there is no sign of Caleb. Tony steps in. He walks over to a flight attendant, standing near the podium.

"Can I help you?" she asks.

"We're waiting on someone."

"That was everyone, I think. Except for the pilot."

"He's thirteen, his name is Caleb."

"Oh."

"Is he on board?"

"Who are you?"

Tony flashes his badge, "I'm with NCIS," he points to Ziva, "She's here to pick him up."

"And who is she?"

"Ziva," he calls her over.

She shows the lady her badge. The flight attendant returns to the plane. When she comes back she is accompanied by Caleb. Tony scrutinizes the boy. His face lights up, when he sees Ziva. He races towards her. He stops only to wrap his arms around her.

"I missed you," he tells her.

"That is why you ran away from home?"

"Home? I wouldn't call it home."

"It's where you live," she points out.

"But I don't want to. I want to be with you."

"You know that she's going to come get you."

"Don't let her. Please. Just once, tell her no."

Tony stares at the boy. He's tall. He looks like an advertisement for Abercrombie, except he wears a Buccaneer's t-shirt. His hair is nearly shoulder length. Waves of thick, sandy brown hair. It looked as if someone had taken sun-in, and streaked it through his hair, because of the blonde streaks on top of the brown. He looks at Tony with big green eyes.

"Who's he?"

"Agent Tony DiNozzo, he's my partner."

He looks at Caleb, and then to Ziva.

"What, Tony?"

"Are you sure that this is the right kid?"

"Of course."

"Ziva he's practically blonde. And he has green eyes..."

"I told you, that he didn't look like me."

"You weren't kidding."

"Caleb, why did you come?"

"You don't want me here? I'll go back if..."

"No, I want you here. I just want to know what made you come."

"Can't missing you be enough?"

"It could, but not with you."

"An FBI agent stopped by the house about a week ago."

"You're in trouble?"

"No. I didn't do anything."

"So why did an FBI agent stop by?"

"Why is my middle name Evan?" Caleb counters.

"What does one have to do with the other?" Ziva wonders.

"Evan is not a Hebrew name," Caleb points out.

"No, it's not," Ziva admits.

"So why is my name Caleb Evan?"

"That is what I wanted to name you."

"But why? Where did you come up with the name Evan?"

"Caleb it doesn't really matter."

"Yes it does," he argues.

"Why?" Ziva wonders.

"The FBI agent who came to the house, his name was Chris Evans."

Ziva doesn't say anything. Her expression changes. She breaks eye contact with Caleb, and looks to Tony for help.

"You're probably tired, aren't you? We should get going," Tony suggests.

"Do you know him?" Caleb inquires, not taking his eyes off Ziva.

"Caleb, why are you so upset about the FBI, guy?"

"Because he says that he's my father, and he wants to take me away."

"That's not going to happen," Ziva promises.

"Is that where I got my name? Is he my father?"

"Caleb he isn't going to take you."

"Why not? It's not like you're going to stop him. It isn't like you care."

"That's not true," her head snaps up, and she locks eyes with Caleb.

"Answer me, please. You always tell me the truth. I want the truth. Is he my father?"

"Caleb why does it matter?"

"Because it does. My whole life everyone had tried to hide the truth from me, everyone but you. I would hate to think the only person that I believe is keeping the truth from me. Just tell me the truth."

"Caleb I..."

"I don't want an excuse I just want the truth," he demands.

"Ok," she agrees.

He taps his foot, "Well? What is the truth? Is the FBI guy my father?"

"Yes, he is."

"Why is it that everyone avoids answering that question? Why doesn't anyone want me to know about him?"

"Caleb, it's complicated."

"I know that. I keep hearing it, over, and over again. I ask questions and the answer I get from everyone is, 'It's complicated,'. How complicated can it be?"

"Can we finish this conversation at home?" she questions.

"Whose home? My home, or your home?"

She gives Tony a look.

"Hey Caleb, did you check any bags?"

"Yeah, it's a blue suitcase, with my initials on it," he replies.

"I'll go grab it for you," Tony insists, walking away.

Ziva points to a row of seats a few yards away. Caleb walks over to them, and takes a seat. She takes a seat next to him.

"Caleb what do you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you here?"

"Because I want to be. I want to be here, with you."

"Why, all of a sudden? Up until recently you didn't even want to talk to me, on the phone."

"I was angry at you, for a long time."

"I know. I made some bad decisions."

"You didn't make them willingly. You were forced into things. I used to be angry at you, for leaving me, but... I know you left because you had to. You're not the one who moved away. You didn't choose the way things were, they were chosen for you."

"I should have fought harder. I should have done more."

"What could you have done? There is no convincing her that she's wrong, even when it's completely obvious."

"I know."

"Is she coming to get me?"

"No."

"Not tonight?"

"No, she's not coming."

"She wants you to send me back?" he guesses.

"Yes."

"So when do I go back?"

"I'm taking you home, with me."

"And then what? How long am I staying? I'm guessing that she agreed to let me stay a few days, until I cool off, and then she wants me back."

"That is what she wants. I want to know what you want."

"I don't want to go back."

"Because you're afraid that Chris is going to take you away?"

"No. I just want to be with you. That is all I have ever wanted."

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yes, ok."

"Are you sure?"

"Caleb I'm not sure what you think about me. You should know that it was never that I didn't want you. I wanted what was best for you. I was young, and easily convinced that the choices that were made, were the best choices for you. I hope that you don't think that didn't want you. Because, that just isn't true. I always wanted you."

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why?"

"You were fifteen. You were fifteen when I was born. Why would you want me? Why would you want to have to take care of a kid, when you were still a kid, yourself?"

"Because you were still mine. Even if I was too young, you still belonged to me."

"Are you ever going to tell me about how I got here?"

"To D.C.? Isn't that your story to tell?"

"I meant on earth."

"I will tell you, one day, but not today."

"What is so bad about him, that no one wants me to know?"

"We were just young."

"You hate him, don't you."

"I..."

"It's ok if you do. I'm not very fond of him, myself."

"I wish I could explain it, but it's just not that simple."

"What did you see in him, in the first place?"

She thinks back, "His smile, and his dimples. The same dimples that you have."

Caleb smiles. Ziva slides out of the chair, and stands up. She looks down at him, with a smile. "Come on."


	5. Research, and Favors

Tony sits on the couch, watching her. She tiptoes out of her bedroom, backwards. She carefully closes the door. She turns, and walks towards him. She takes a seat on the couch, next to him.

"He's asleep?"

"Yeah."

"He's not at all what I expected," he admits.

"And why is that?"

"Because he looks like Malibu Ken."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He looks like a little surfer. The wavy blonde hair, and green eyes, and tan. He doesn't look much like you."

"No, he doesn't."

"Does that drive you crazy?"

"It used to. Every time I looked at him, I saw someone else's face. When he was little he looked just like Chris. Then when he was about three, I started seeing someone else. He just looked like himself."

"How did Chris find out about him?"

"He didn't find out recently. He's know about him, since before he was born. He just refused to have anything to do with him. I was young, and I thought that he would want to, but I quickly realized that he didn't. He was young too, and he didn't want a kid. I sent him a picture after Caleb was born. He sent it back, and told me not to contact him anymore."

"His parents know?"

"I don't think that he told them. He didn't want them to know. He was away at college by the time that Caleb was born."

"Why do you think that he popped up now? I mean Caleb is thirteen."

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"I still can't believe that you have a kid."

"Most days I don't believe it either. I made some very selfish decisions. I have always put myself first."

"What does Caleb call your mother? Does he call her mom? Or grandma? A Hebrew version?"

"He calls her by her name."

"Ouch."

"It drives her crazy."

"You taught him to call her that?"

"Yes."

"So what does he call you?"

"Mom?"

Ziva looks up. She finds Caleb in the doorway of the bedroom.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I woke up."

"Do you need something?"

"I forgot to tell you something."

"What's that?"

"Love you," he smiles.

"Love you too. Goodnight."

"Night," he closes the door, and goes back to bed.

Tony just looks at her.

"He's always been like that. When he was a baby he wanted to be held all the time. And when he started to talk that was one of the first sentences he learned."

_August 20th, 1999,_

_She opens the door, and steps out of the room. She follows the screaming down the hallway. She twists the doorknob and steps into the room. She finds her mother sitting in a rocking chair, rocking the wailing toddler. _

_"What is going on, in here?"_

_"I came in to check on him, and he just started crying."_

_"Give him to me," Ziva insists. Caleb squirms, trying to move towards the sound of her voice._

_"Ziva it's one o'clock in the morning. You have to get up for school soon. I'll take care of it."_

_Caleb manages to twist himself around. He looks at Ziva, and reaches for her. The screaming stops. His face is still red, and their are tears on his cheeks. _

_"Mom," he pouts._

_Ziva reaches for him. Her mother reluctantly lets go of the sleepy boy. Caleb rests his head on Ziva's shoulder. _

_"Are you ready to go to bed now?" she asks._

_He lifts his head up, and looks at her, "Love you," he smiles._

_"Love you too. It is time to go to bed."_

_He lays his head back down, on her shoulder. Ziva turns, and begins to walk away._

_"Where are you going?" her mother calls after her._

_"I'm taking him to bed."_

_"His bed is in here. You can't take him to bed with you."_

_Ziva stops in the doorway, she turns around, and looks at her mother. "You can try as hard as you want, to pretend that he is yours. You can pretend that you are his mother, but you're not," she walks away._

"So he's always preferred you over her?"

"Since the day he was born, and it drives her insane. She's tried everything, even bribery, but given the choice he always chooses me. For a long time, I wasn't in a position to choose him back."

"You know that you have to tell him the truth."

"About what?"

"His dad."

"I know."

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"You're getting ready to go?"

"It's been a long day, you could use some sleep."

"Can you do some research for me?"

"Yep. I'll take care of it."

"Thanks," she smiles.

"That's what friends are for," he reminds her, heading towards the door.

She wakes up early the next morning. Not early, her usual time, 0500. Waking up that early meant only four hours of sleep. That wasn't too bad. So why was she so tired? Oh, yes, maybe it was the emotionally draining day, before. She kicks the blanket to the end of the couch. She gets up, and stretches. She tiptoes to her bedroom, and stops at the door. She quietly turns the knob. She pushes it open a crack, and peeks in.

Caleb lies in the center of the bed, with the covers tangled around him. He lies on his side, facing the window, instead of the door. He doesn't move.

"You don't have to be so quiet. I'm already awake," he tells her as he looks at the alarm clock.

"It's only 0500."

"I'm always up this early," he rolls over, to face her.

"Why?"

"I guess I have the same internal alarm clock you do."

"I shouldn't be surprised. You have always gotten up early. And for the most part you always woke up smiling, and happy. So what do you want to do, today?"

"Don't you have to go to work?"

"I don't have to."

"You should go to work."

"And what will you do, while I'm at work?"

"I brought my laptop. I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself. And I do know how to use a microwave."

"I can't leave you here alone."

"I'm thirteen."

"Caleb, that's not going to happen."

"Can I go to work with you?"

"I... let me make a phone call."

"Hurry up."

"Why? Are you in a hurry to get somewhere?"

"I want to go for a run before we go."

"Ok, it will only take a minute."

"DiNozzo was right, I don't look like you. But I certainly do act like you," he smiles.

"That isn't always a good thing."

"No, it's not," he agrees.

She steps out of the bedroom, into the living room. She dials a familiar number.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end answers after seven rings.

"I know it's early, and I'm sorry that I woke you up."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong. I just need to ask you a favor."

"What?"

"I have a visitor from out of town. Would you mind keeping an eye on him while I'm working?"

"Him? Is he cute?"

"He's thirteen."

"Oh."

"But he is cute," she admits.

"What's in it for me?"

"You can't ask any questions," Ziva adds.

"I can't promise that. What do I get out of it?"

"The usual."

"Really?"

"Twice the usual amount, since I made you get up early?" Ziva offers.

"Ok," she agrees, and hangs up the phone.


	6. Take Your Kid To Work Day

0730-Ziva steps off the elevator, and heads into Abby's lab. Abby's elbows rest on the stainless steel table, between the computer, and the mass spectrometer. Her head rests on top of her fists. She looks at Ziva as she enters the room.

"You look tired."

"I blame you."

"Where is your out of town guest?"

"Right behind me."

He walks in behind her, carrying two caf-pows. He sits them on the table, in front of Abby.

"I think that you and I are going to get along just fine."

He smiles, "I'm sure that we are, Abby."

"How did he know my name?"

"I told him," Ziva points out.

"Oh. Right."

He extends his hand, "Abby, I'm Caleb."

"Nice to meet you," she shakes his hand, and smiles, "What's in your bag?" she points to the messenger bag that is thrown over his shoulder.

"My laptop, and my i-pod. Just a few things to keep me entertained," he answers.

"I've got to get upstairs," Ziva starts backing out of the room.

"Ziva!"

"Yes, Abby?" she stops.

"I think that..."

"No. Maybe later," Ziva promises. She turns, and walks away.

* * *

><p>When she arrives upstairs she drops her bag at her desk. She moves over towards her partner's desk. She finds him drooling on his keyboard.<p>

"Hi, Gibbs," she says.

His head pops up, and he begins typing. "Boss..." he trails off, looking around the room, realizing that it's just the two of them.

"Why do you always do that to me?"

"Because it's fun."

"It's your fault that I fell asleep."

"You were here all night?"

"You gave me a task, and I completed it."

"What did you find out?"

"I sent all of the information to your email, so that you could read it, at your leisure."

"So why are you still here?"

"By the time I was done it was too late to go home."

"I see.

* * *

><p>"So where are you from?" Abby questions.<p>

"Tampa."

"Have you always lived there?"

"No. We moved there when I was three and a half."

"And before that?"

"I lived in Israel."

"I see. So how long have you known Ziva?"

"My whole life."

"And what is your connection to her?"

"Abby, are you interrogating me?"

"I'm a forensic scientist. I don't interrogate people."

"Why are you grilling me?"

"I'm just curious."

"If you want to know, you need to ask her."

"She won't let me."

"She will tell you, when she's ready."

"And until then?"

"Just know it will be worth it."

"So what do you like to do?"

"I like to do lots of things."

"Like what?"

"Go surfing, play football, and basketball, and baseball. I like to draw. I love music, and watching sports. I do karate, and box, and some other stuff, too. I skateboard, and..."

Abby cuts him off, "Do you play video games?"

"I'm not allowed."

"Not allowed?"

"It's complicated."

* * *

><p>"I hacked into..."<p>

She cuts him off, "You don't know how to hack."

"I have learned a thing or two from McGee."

"You hacked what?"

"I learned that your father knows."

"How could he possibly know?"

"I found emails, back and forth, from your mother."

"You can't be serious. My mother hates him."

"Then you're not going to like what I found out.""What did you find out?"

"He made sure that you got on to the Kedon unit at Mossad. She wanted you to have no choice, but to be away from..." he trails off.

"Why did you stop?"

"McGee, if I hacked into something..." he begins.

Ziva looks over at McGee's desk. She finds him putting his stuff down.

McGee cuts Tony off, "I hope that you were able to figure out how to keep from being traced."

"I borrowed that book you have in your desk."

"Tony the Dummy's guide to hacking?"

"McGee it was rude to name it that. The guy on the cover looks nothing like me."

* * *

><p>"Is your sandwich good?"<p>

Ziva nods.

"Are you eating like that, because there is something you're trying tot avoid talking about?"

She swallows. "I guess that I have a lot on my mind."

"Have you talked to Caleb?"

"He was having fun with Abby. He was too busy to talk to me."

"Are you afraid that someone is going to take him from you?"

"I... it has never been simple."

"Why don't you want to tell him about his father?"

"Because I don't like to talk about it, I don't even like to think about it."

"You're going to have to talk about it. You have to tell him."

"I don't know what to say to him. I have tried to protect him, and I just feel like I've failed him. I feel like I've failed him, in every way possible."

"Why do you say that?"

"Every choice I made was wrong."

"Not every choice."

"Yes, every choice. Starting with his father."

"What happened between the two of you, that you can't even talk about him?"

"I was young, and naive. I didn't want to live with my mother anymore. I thought that I could have a family of my own."

"You were fifteen."

"And I thought that he would want a family, but he was in college, he didn't want any part of it."

"Did you..."

"I told him. One night my mother and I had a blow out. I left the house, and got on a plane. I took one of Mossad's private jets, and I left."

"Where did you go?"

"Back to Miami, where it all started. He was at college there."

"When?"

* * *

><p><em>2330<em> _February 16th, 1998_

_She knocks at the door. She waits in the hallway, of the dorm. After several moments she hears shuffling. The door comes open. Chris stands at the door, staring at her._

_"What are you doing here?"_

_"I wanted to see you."_

_"Ziva you shouldn't have come."_

_"I am..."_

_"Come in here," he ushers her in. He closes the door behind her. _

_"I am having your baby."_

_"I got your letters."_

_"You never responded."_

_"I thought you would get the message."_

_"What message?"_

_"I don't want to do this. I don't want to have anything to do with this."_

_"I cannot do this on my own."_

_"Maybe you shouldn't do it at all."_

_"Why is it that you do not want this?"_

_"I am too young to be someone's parent. You are too young to be someone's parent. I don't want this. I don't want a baby. I don't want to be with you. I've never wanted to be with you."_

_"Then why were you?"_

_"Ziva... I don't expect you to understand. You're too young."_

_"I am too young? Everyone keeps saying that. Maybe I am too young for all of this, but it is happening, whether I want it to, or not."_

_"I think that you should go. Go home."_

_"I cannot go home, right now," she argues._

_"If you need a ride, I can take you to the airport."_

_"I cannot go to the airport."_

_"Do you need money for a plane ticket? I'll give you money for a ticket, if you'll just go. It's late, and you should get home. It's a long flight."_

_"I cannot go tonight. I have been on a plane all day."_

_"I'll get you a place to stay, and I'll take you to the airport, in the morning."_

_"I cannot go back in the morning."_

_"Ziva you have to go home. You don't have a choice. Whatever you thought was going to happen, it's not going to happen. We're not going to be a happy little family. I don't want this. I don't want you, or your baby. You need to go."_

_"If that is what you want I will, but not right now."_

_"You can't stay here."_

_"I do not want to stay here."_

_"Then why won't you go home?"_

_"Because I think that I am in labor."_

_"Why would you get on a plane, and come here, if you thought that you were in labor?"_

_"I did not think that I was in labor, then."_


	7. Understanding

He just looks at her, waiting for her to finish the story.

"Then what?" he prompts her.

"He took me to the hospital. He made me call my mother. Then, he left."

"He left you alone, in the hospital? In labor? Without your mother there?"

"Yes," she nods.

"He didn't wait for you to have the baby?"

"No. I was in labor for thirty six hours."

"Did they have to do a c-section?"

"No. He came out in two pushes."

"Then why were you in labor for thirty six hours?"

"I went from a one to a three, in two hours. Then I went from a three, to a five, in an hour. I stayed at five for twenty hours, and then I finally got to six."

"And it took you another thirteen hours to get from six to ten?"

"It took me ten hours to get from a six to an eight. The last part was the quickest."

"Why didn't you just have a c-section? You had to be exhausted by then."

"I refused."

"So did Caleb's father come to see him, after he was born?"

"My mother called him. He came to the hospital and..." she trails off.

"And what?"

_February 19th, 1998-0900_

_Ziva lies in her bed, holding her baby, as he sleeps. Her mother comes back into the room. She takes a seat, in the chair next to the bed._

_"Ziva..."_

_"Did you talk to him?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Is he coming?"_

_"He already came. He just left."_

_"He never came to see Caleb."_

_"Ziva he is not going to."_

_"Why not?"_

_"He does not want a baby. He brought papers with him."_

_"Papers? What kind of papers?"_

_"He signed over his parental rights."_

_"What does that mean?"_

_"He is walking away. He wants no part of Caleb's life."_

_"This is not fair."_

_"Are you still sure that you want to do this? You can walk out of this hospital, and be done. You do not have to leave here with a baby."_

_"How can you even say that? I am not leaving here without him."_

_"Who is going to take care of him?"_

_"I will."_

_"You have to go to school."_

_"I can stay home."_

_"No, you will not, stay home. You will go to school. You will finish school. Do you hear me?"_

_"What if I choose not to?"_

_"That is not an option. You will finish school."_

_"What am I supposed to do with him, while I am in school."_

_"Ziva, let me take care of him."_

_"For how long?"_

_"We have discussed this. It is what is best for him. You are too young. You cannot take care of him."_

He watches her, as she talks about the past. When she stops, she looks up, at him.

"He's almost grown now. He's nearly as tall as I am. He is not a baby, anymore. I missed everything that was important in his life. I chose a career, over my own son. What kind of person could do that?"

"Ziva, no matter how old he is, he's always going to be your baby. He is always going to be yours, even when he's eighty. You don't have all the blame here. It was out of your control."

"What did my father do?"

"He made sure that you were assigned mission, after mission, so that you couldn't have the chance to see Caleb."

"Sometimes, I wish that he had..."

He cuts her off, "No you don't."

"We should get going."

"Yeah," he nods in agreement.

When they arrive back at NCIS Ziva takes some evidence down to Abby. She walks into the lab, and finds Abby standing in front of the computer.

"Where is Caleb?"

"In the bathroom. He just left, like two and a half seconds ago."

"I brought these for you," Ziva shows her.

Abby signs the clipboard. She stands in front of the table, and stares at Ziva, who stands on the other side.

"What?"

"Can I ask you now?"

"No. Did you ask him?"

"He wouldn't tell me anything. He is immune to my interrogation techniques."

"He's probably immune to all interrogation techniques."

"How long is he here for?"

"A while."

"Why is he here?"

"He's visiting."

"Why is he visiting you?"

"He likes me."

"Is he family?"

"Yes."

"He's so..."

"He looks like Malibu Ken? I know."

"Tony's description?" Abby guesses.

"Should I be concerned? Do you think he played with Barbie's as a child?"

"It wouldn't surprise me. Ziva, please talk to me."

"I can't."

"Can't, or won't?" A voice asks from the doorway.

She spins around, and looks at Caleb. He walks into the room stopping next to Ziva. She looks over at him, "Caleb, it's your story to tell."

"I didn't think that you wanted me to tell anyone."

"She's going to find out eventually."

"Find out what?" Abby questions.

"But you can't tell Gibbs," Ziva warns, "I need to be the one to tell him."

"Can I tell her?" Caleb queries.

"Go ahead," Ziva nods.

"I am here, to stay, hopefully," Caleb begins.

"With Ziva?"

"Yes, he is going to stay with me," Ziva confirms.

"Why?" Abby wonders.

"I may have ran away from home."

"Why would you do that?"

"You don't have to live with Rivka. She is enough to make a sane person crazy."

"Rivka?" Abby furrows her brow, "Isn't that your mother?" she looks at Ziva.

"Yes," Ziva confirms.

"He's your... brother?" Abby looks at Ziva, in utter confusion.

Caleb shakes his head, "No, that is what Rivka would like the world to think."

"What do you mean?" Abby's head turns towards Caleb.

"She is my grandmother."

"Oh. Oh!"

"Ziva is my..."

"Mother? You're his mother? You're too young. He's thirteen so you would have been... fifteen? That is why you left the room, the other day? I... I don't know what to say."

"That you won't tell Gibbs."

"I won't tell him. I'm too much in shock, to tell anyone," she admits.

"I've got to go, I have work to do."

When she gets off the elevator Gibbs is waiting on her. She steps off the elevator, and he just looks at her.

"Do you need something?"

"Can you tell me why there is a kid in Abby's lab?"

"You met him?"

"Yes, I met him earlier. He's a nice kid. Why is he here?"

"Abby is watching him."

"Why is Abby babysitting? She is supposed to be working."

"It was a favor."

"For who?"

"For me."

"For you? You brought him?"

"Yes."

"Who is he?"

"His name is Caleb."

"Yes, I know that. Why do you have him?"

"He came to see me."

"See you why?"

"To visit."

"Who is he to you?"

"Can we do this somewhere else?"

"Ok," he points to the elevator. The doors come open, and they step in. He flips a switch, and the elevator is rendered motionless, and the lights go out. He stands on one side, and she stands on the other. He looks at her, waiting for her to begin.

"Have you ever made a decision, that you wish you didn't?"

"Lots of times."

"One that no matter how hard you try, you can never redeem yourself for?"

"More than once."

"A choice you wish you could make differently?"

"Yes."

"I have made a lot of bad choices. I have made the wrong decisions, more than once, or twice."

"We all have. You have to make mistakes, to learn from them."

"There are some mistakes that you don't have to make."

"Maybe. Ziva where is this going? What does this have to do with Caleb?"

"I should have told you, from the beginning."

"From the beginning? When? When you knew that he was coming?"

"I didn't know. It was a surprise. I got a call, when he was in the air, on his way here."

"From who?"

"Rivka."

"Your mother?"

She nods.

"A half-sibling?"

"No," she shakes her head.

He takes a moment, to think back, over the events of the past few days. A light bulb clicks, in his head.

"You couldn't understand how she could kill the father of her child. You understood why, but you didn't understand how she could do it, knowing the consequences. You could never do that. I didn't understand why."

"It wouldn't matter how much I hated him. It would never be enough."

"Because no matter how much you hate him, you love your son, more?" He guesses.

She nods, "Yes. I couldn't do that to him," she admits, on the verge of tears.  
>He takes a step towards her. He motions with his index finger, "Come here." She steps into his embrace. She clenches her jaw, in an attempt not to cry. The tears come, anyway.<p> 


	8. In The Past

She tries not to let him see her irritation, as they inch through rush hour traffic. She looks over at him, when the traffic comes to a halt.

"You don't have to drive like a sane person on my account," he points out.

"I don't want to..."

He cuts her off, "Just drive!" he tells her.

She whips into the next lane. She whips in and out of traffic, for several blocks. Suddenly she realizes how quiet the car is.

"Is something on your mind?" she wonders.

"No. Why would you think that?"

"You are being too quiet."

"I'm just thinking."

"Thinking what?"

"Wondering, really."

"Wondering what, Caleb?"

"Why did you want to keep me?"

"You really want to have this discussion, again?"

"There are things that I don't understand."

"Like what?"

"You were fifteen how could you possibly think you could take care of me."

"I was naive."

"Why wouldn't you want to give me up?"

"I wanted you. It was crazy. I know that. I have always wanted you. I know that it is hard to understand, but it is the truth."

"You didn't think that it would be better to give me to a family who..."

"Caleb, do you wish that I had given you up?"

"No, I just..."

"You just what?"

"You left me."

"I am sorry. There were things that were beyond my control. I know that is not an excuse."

"Why do you keep making excuses. Just tell me the truth. I can handle it. Why didn't you come for me?"

"There were a lot of reasons."

"Like what?"

"I was convinced that I was doing what was best for you. I have never been very maternal. I have never been patient, understanding, or empathetic. I didn't think that I had what it took, to be a good mother to you. I was afraid that you would hate me, that you would resent me. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to have the kind of life I couldn't give you."

"A mansion, and a pool? A family that eats dinner in three different places? All I want, all I have ever wanted, was you."

"I am sorry. I should have been there for you. I should have been the parent that you needed me to be."

"Why is he trying to come into my life, now?"

"It doesn't matter."

"He didn't want me, did he?"

"Caleb, anyone would be a fool not to want you."

"It's ok. You can say it. Tell me the truth."

"No. He had no interest in being part of your life."

"He didn't want me."

"He was young, and he didn't want a child."

"You were young too, but you wanted me."

"It was different for me."

"Is he going to take me away?"

"No, Caleb. He is not. I am not going to let that happen. I am not going to let anyone take you anywhere."

"It's a little late, don't you think."

"Better late than never. I hope that you can forgive me, one day, for the mistakes that I made."

"Mom?"

"Hm?"

"I am sorry."

"For what?"

"Ever doubting that you loved me."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I did not do a very good job of showing it."

"Are you going to make me go back?"

"No."

"What if she comes for me?"

She pulls into a parking space, in front of her building. She puts the car into park. She turns the engine off. She looks into his eyes. She smiles.

"I am not going to let you go anywhere. I know that you need me. I know that there were times when I should have fought for you, and I didn't. I will do whatever it takes, to make sure that you are happy. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Love me so much?"

"You are easy to love."

"How? I took away your childhood. I took away a lot of choices, a lot of opportunities. I made your life harder than I had to be."

"No. You didn't. I made choices that affected my life. You are not to blame for the choices that I have made. You are not to blame for anything. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I was born."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Caleb you changed my life, for the better."

"You are obligated to say that, because you're my mother. You don't want me to feel bad. You don't want me to feel guilty."

"Because you have nothing to feel bad, or guilty about. I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you."

"But you didn't have to. You could have chosen a dozen different ways."

"A dozen wrong ways. You were the only way. I am sorry that I didn't choose you sooner, and more often. I am sorry that I didn't come for you. I thought..." she trails off, fighting back tears.

"You thought what?"

"I didn't think that you needed me. You had someone who..."

"Can never give me what you can."

"And what is that?"

"A mother's love."

"How did you get to be so smart?"

"I got it from you."

"I don't think that I can take credit for that."

"Then you can take the blame," he smiles.

His smile pushes away her tears. She smiles back at him. She touches his hair, brushing it out of his eyes.

"You want me to get it cut?"

"It's your hair."

"But you want me to get it cut?"

"I would like to be able to see your eyes."

"I think I might be able to agree to a trim," he concedes.

She follows him into the building. He waits for her to find the key, and open the door for him. He steps into the apartment. She steps in, closing the door behind her. She locks the door. She turns around, and finds him standing still, just looking at her.

"What?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking."

"Thinking what?"

"That I love you," he hugs her.

She kisses the top of his head, "I love you more."

"Maybe."

"Definitely," she lets go of him.

"Can I ask you a question."

"I have never been able to stop you."

"What is going on between you, and Agent DiNozzo?"

"Nothing. He is my partner."

"I see."

"You see what?"

"You're afraid to get hurt."

"What are you talking about?"

"You have been disappointed, and hurt more than once. I can't blame you for..."

"Caleb, you have no idea what you're talking about."

"Really? So you are telling me that you have absolutely no feelings for him?"

"He is my partner."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"I have feelings for him, but..."

"But you will never tell him. You will never do anything about it. Heaven forbid you tell someone how you really feel. They might run away."

"Why are you so interested, anyway?"

"You keep everyone at arms length, all the time. If you can't be honest with yourself, how can you be honest with the anyone else? At some point you have to take a chance, on someone."

"I did."

"Other than me."

"You deserve to be happy."

"I..."

"Mom, you made mistakes, everyone does. You can't punish yourself for them, for the rest of your life."

"I'm not."

"Really? So he knows how you feel?"

"I wouldn't know," she admits.

"Have you told him?"

"No."

"Why not? What are you afraid of."

"He's my partner. He's my friend."

"You are afraid that he won't feel the same?"

She points to the couch, "Sit. Please."


	9. Wherever You Are

"Life is not simple."

"I understand that. What I don't understand is why you refuse to be happy."

"What makes you think that I am not happy?"

"The look in your eyes."

"I..."

"Don't try to hide it from me. I just want you to be happy."

"Caleb, it is my job to make sure you are happy, not the other way around."

"He's not like the others."

"What do you mean?"

"He's not like..." he trails off, making a realization.

"Like who?"

"No one."

"Caleb, like who?"

"Eli."

"How would you know anything about Eli? You cannot go on what your grandmother tells you. Most of it is probably true, but there are two sides to every story."

"I'm not."

She freezes. She swallows hard, "What do you mean, you're not?"

"I have met him."

"You have met him? When?"

"A long time ago."

"A long time ago?"

"I was too young to remember."

"You've only seen him once?"

"No. Every couple of months he drops in for a few days."

"She allows this?"

"She says that I have to go. Something about it is the only way to repay him."

"I cannot believe her."

"Don't change the subject," he warns her.

"What is it that you wanted to know?"

"Why haven't you told Tony, how you feel?"

"It is not important."

"He doesn't strike me as the type who is going to leave you, at the first sign of trouble."

"He is not."

"Then what is the problem?"

"Our boss has rules against it. It is against NCIS policy. It is a bad idea. I do not want to ruin our partnership. I do not want to lose my friend."

"I am the only one that you are willing to take a gamble on?"

"That is different. You are my son."

"He's not my father. He is nothing like him."

"You didn't tell me a whole lot about meeting him."

"What's to tell?"

"What did he say? What did he do? What was your impression of him?"

"He was a jerk. I didn't like him."

"That's it?"

"He was tall. Taller than I had pictured. Blonder than I pictured. He had nice white teeth. There isn't much to say."

"Why not?"

"I don't like him."

"Because?"

"He didn't talk to me."

"He didn't say anything to you?"

"No. I meant he talked at me, not to me. He treated me like a five year old, who couldn't understand."

"He patronized you?"

"Exactly."

"Did he seem serious?"

"As a person?" Caleb raises his eyebrows.

"In pursuing custody?"

"Yeah. He acted like an entitled jerk."

"Did he offer any explanation, as to why he would show up, now?"

"No. I don't really care. I don't want to have anything to do with him."

"You don't have to hate him. He was young."

"That is not an excuse. Being young is not an excuse. He was old enough to make a baby," he replies angrily.

"That is true. Sometimes we do things, without considering the consequences."

"You are supposed to be responsible for your actions."

"Caleb, I agree."

"But?"

"I didn't understand his decision, then, but I do now."

"Are you saying that if you could go back that you would have chosen differently? You wouldn't have chosen me?"

"No. That is not what I am saying."

"Would you? If you could go back, would you choose differently? Would you have decided not to choose me?"

"I would have done a lot of things differently. I would change a lot of things. You are not one of them. I would not take you back. Not for a second."

"So why didn't you come to see me? When you moved here why didn't you come for me? When you became a citizen why didn't you come for me? Cards, letters, emails, and phone calls are no substitute for being there. You should have been there for me. I needed you, and we weren't there."

She feels herself breaking. She feels the tears welling up in her eyes. She feels herself going to dark place, that she did not like to visit. She swallows hard, trying to hold back the tears.

"I'm sorry," is all she can manage to get out, before the tears start to fall.

"That's it? You're sorry. That is all you have to say?"

She wraps her arms around him. He resists. She pets his head. "I'm sorry. I wish, every single day that I could go back, and fix this. I wish that I had been there for you. I cannot change the past, no matter how much I want to. All I can do, is try to be better, in the future."

"Why didn't you ever come for me?"

"Because I believed her. I believed that she was better for you. I didn't think that I could ever be good enough, to be your mother. I thought that you were ok. I thought that you were better off without me. I would only screw up your life. I..." she trails off.

"I needed you. I remember waking up crying, because I wanted you. I wanted you, and you weren't there," his words are heart wrenching.

She feels herself having a hard time breathing. She inhales. She wipes away tears. She doesn't let him move.

"I am here now."

He hugs her back.

"I love you."

"I know."

"You can let go, now."

"No, I'm never letting you go," she argues.

"Mom, I can't breathe."

She lets go. She looks at him. Her son. Her little boy. No, he wasn't a little boy, anymore. He was a young man. He would be a good man, one day.

"How can I make it up to you?"

"I don't know if you can."

"Can you ever forgive me?"

"I already have."

"How?"

"You judge a person by their past actions, until they change. Then you have to change the way that you judge them."

"I want to make this up to you, somehow. Maybe I never can, but I want to try."

"That isn't necessary."

"Please tell me something, that I can do."

He smiles, "There is one thing."

"Name it."

"Do you remember when my pacifier got taken away?"

"You were far too old to have a pacifier. You rarely even used it. You just carried it around."

"Do you remember that I threw a fit?"

"Yes. I couldn't get you to stop crying. Nothing I did would make you feel any better."

"Except..."

"Cupcakes, with gummy worms in them. You begged me to make cupcakes. When I turned around to get the pan you dumped a whole bag of gummy worms in them."

"You thought that it was disgusting."

"But you loved them."

"I have some gummy worms in my bag," he admits.

"I will get the cake mix."

He leaves the room. When he returns he finds her standing next to the counter. She is frozen. She doesn't say a word. He touches his shoulder.

"I got the gummy worms," he hands the bag to her.

She doesn't say anything. He looks at the items sitting on the counter. A mixing bowl, a spoon, some oil, eggs, a cake mix, and a bag of gummy worms. He looks at her hand. She holds onto the bag that he just gave her.

"You already have gummy worms?"

"They were in the cabinet, next to the cake mix. Sometimes I get home with them, and I don't even remember putting them in the cart."

"You think about me subconsciously, when you're at the grocery store?"

"Not just at the grocery store. I see things, all the time, that remind me of you."

"Like what?"

"There some advertisement with a dinosaur on it, and all I could think of was you in your dinosaur pajamas."

"I wore those all the time."

"Every night. You had three pairs that were identical, so that I didn't have to wash them everyday."

"I think about you, too."

"You do?"

"Yeah. At my school we have kindergarten buddies. The other day my little buddy brought me a book to read to him. I saw it, and I thought of you. It was a book that you used to read to me."

"I read a lot of books to you," she recalls.

"Every night."

"And sometimes when you woke up, too."

"I'm sure that you would remember it."

"What was it?"

"_Wherever You Are my love will find you_."

"I wanted you more than you ever will know, so I sent my love to follow wherever you go," she quotes.


	10. More Than You'll Ever Know

She reaches for her phone. She reaches too far, and ends up on the floor. She searches the coffee table for the phone. Finally she finds it. She pulls the phone to her ear, as she attempts to get off the floor.

"Hello?"

"Is he ready to come home yet?"

"He is home."

"Did I wake you?"

"It is only 0530," she points out.

"You're usually up."

"What do you want?"

"I am leaving here in an hour."

"Leaving where?"

"The airport."

"Why?"

"I'm coming to get him."

"No, you're not."

"I'll be there in a few hours, make sure that he's ready."

"He is not going anywhere."

"Ziva you can't stop me from taking him."

"He is my son."

"You know that it is better this way."

"No. I do not know that. Just because it is your way, does not mean that it is better."

"He is coming home, with me."

"No. He isn't. Your way is not the only way. I have allowed it to be the only way, for far too long."

"And now what? What are you going to do to stop me?"

"Whatever I have to do."

"Ziva you don't want to do this. You don't want this responsibility. You have a career that you love. You work all the time. There is no time for him."

"I am his mother."

"Ziva, stop being so stubborn."

"I am not going to let you take him."

"Ziva, please be reasonable. Let him come home with me, and we can work out a visitation schedule. It is better that way."

"I don't believe you."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't believe anything that you say, anymore."

"Have I given you reason to doubt me?"

"Maybe you should ask Eli," she hangs up the phone.

She looks up, and finds Caleb standing in the doorway of her room.

"I am sorry that you had to hear that."

"How are you going to keep her from taking me?"

"Get dressed, I have some phone calls to make."

"I don't want to go back with her. I want to stay with you."

"I know. Go take your shower, and get dressed. I am going to try to figure this out."

"Ok," he agrees.

He slinks back into her room. She dials a familiar number. It rings several times.

"Hello?"

"I am sorry to be calling you so early."

"Something wrong, Ziva?"

"I think that I need to break rule number 13."

"Why is that?"

"Rivka is flying in later, she is going to try to take Caleb back, with her."

"I've got a better idea."

"What's that?"

"There is a judge who owes me a favor. Let me give him a call," Gibbs replies.

"Ok."

"I'll call you back."

Five minutes later her phone rings, "David," she answers.

"You need to meet him in his chambers at 0730. Judge Grant Peterson. He's expecting you."

"Thank you."

"Ziva?"

"You're taking the day off."

"No, I want to be there."

"Not a question."

"It's better if I'm there," she hangs up, having the final say.

Caleb comes out of the bedroom, and makes his way to the kitchen. Ziva heads into the bathroom, to take a shower. Fifteen minutes later she returns dressed, and ready to go. She grabs her keys and her phone, and heads towards the door.

"Come on. We've got to go."

"Go where?"

"To fix this," she replies.

She's sitting at her desk, when the force of nature, that is her mother, steps off the elevator. She tries her hardest not to make eye contact. Tony, McGee, and Gibbs, all stare up, at the woman, who stands before Ziva. There was an uncanny resemblance. It was obvious that the woman standing in their squad room, was her mother.

Rivka clears her throat. Ziva looks up, from her computer screen. She smiles, and asks, "Can I help you?"

"You know that you can. Where is Caleb? I have come to take him home?"

"He's currently at an undisclosed location."

"Ziva, tell me where he is. He is coming home with me."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"About Chris."

"What's to tell?"

"Is he trying to get custody of Caleb?"

"So what if he is? It will never happen. I have the best team of lawyers, that money can buy."

"Why didn't you mention it?"

"I didn't think that it was important."

"There are a lot of things that you don't think are important."

"Ziva just tell me where he is. Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

She opens her desk drawer, and pulls out a stack of papers. She hands them to her mother.

"Did you bring your lawyers?"

"No, why?"

"You should probably have them look over that."

"What is this?"

"It is a copy or a legal document that grants me temporary custody of Caleb, until a custody hearing can be arranged."

"You can't be serious."

"I can. Now, if you don't mind, I have work to do."

"He is not going to stay with you."

"He is old enough to decide for himself, now."

"And you think that he will choose you?"

"He already has."

"Ziva, this is not a road that you want to go down."

"And why is that?"

"You won't win."

"Why not? I am his mother."

"Where have you been his entire life? You haven't been there for him. I have taken care of him, his entire life. I have provided him with clothing, shelter, and an education. I have given him all the best things that money can buy."

"And you forgot about the most important thing."

"What is that?"

"Love."

"I love him."

"You are not his mother."

"Giving birth to a child, does not make you a mother."

"Do we really have to do this here?"

"Why not? Are you ashamed of him, Ziva? He is your son."

"There is a more appropriate place to do this. There are conference rooms."

"We will do this here, and we will do this now."

"You are not taking him."

"Try and stop me."

"If you lay one finger on him I will personally see to it that you never see him again."

"Is that a threat?"

"No," Ziva shakes her head, "Mother, it's a promise."

"Ziva, I am not afraid of you."

"Then that is your mistake."

"Why are you making this so difficult?"

"Because he is my son. He is not your son. He belongs to me."

"You have to do what is best for him."

"I agree."

"You need to send him home, with me."

"It is best for him, to stay here, with me."

"In your tiny apartment? If he stays here what do you have to offer? You work all the time, you will never see him."

"I don't see him now. I haven't seen him in years. You do not let me see him. You do not let me see my own son."

"I didn't want you to upset him."

"You upset him. You hurt him. You did all of that, by keeping me from him."

"If you had showed up on my doorstep to see him, I would not have stopped you."

"That's not true, and you know it."

"Ziva why are you doing this?"

"Because he needs me. He is my son. It is my job to protect him, even if it is from you."

"Ziva, you are being unreasonable."

"You made a deal with the devil, to ensure that I would not be an obstacle."

"I..."

"You made a deal with Eli."

"I had no choice."

"Are you planning on making a deal with Chris, too? Heaven forbid he drag your name through the mud, or expose who you really are."

"I don't know who you think that I am, but..."

"You took my son from me. You moved him out of the country. What kind of a mother does that?"

"I was trying to protect you. Why can't you see that?"

"Because you weren't protecting me. You were protecting yourself. You didn't want anyone to know the truth. You thought that people would judge you, because of the choices that I made. What kind of mother allows her teenaged daughter to spend three months abroad? Only to have her come home, pregnant? That would reflect badly on you."

"I have worked hard..."

Ziva cuts her off, "You have never worked. You screwed up the only thing that you have ever done."

"I am a good mother."

"You used to be a good mother."

"Ziva..."

"Please, leave. Do not make me ask twice."

"Fine, but I will be back."

"I know that you will."


	11. Chaos

She's sitting at her desk, when she hears the elevator doors open. She doesn't pay much attention, to the footsteps the come off the elevator. There are people on and off the elevator, all day long. As the footsteps near her, she grows curious. In the corner of her eye, she can see a suit, walk around the corner. It stops at her desk.

She looks up, from her desk. She finds a handsome man, staring at her. Across the aisle, her partner stares at him, too. She meets the man's eyes. Blue eyes. Blonde hair. Killer smile. An even tan. An expensive suit, that molds to his muscular body. He reaches for a badge. She waves her hand.

"That won't be necessary. I know who you are," she reveals.

"Federal Agent..."

She cuts him off, "Chris Evans. I know who you are. I remember."

"Ziva," he says sharply.

"It's Agent David," she corrects.

"That's how you want to play this?"

"Play this? You are the one playing games, here. What are you doing here?"

"You know exactly what I am doing here."

"Do I?"

"I am here to get my son."

"That is not going to happen."

Ziva doesn't say another word. Tony rises from his seat. He walks around his desk.

"Excuse me, sir, but you are going to have to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere, until she tells me where my son is."

"He's in a safe place," she responds.

"You can leave now, or I will have security escort you out," Tony says gruffly.

"I am not going anywhere."

"Ok, you're choice," Tony nods. Ziva picks up her phone. She dials security. Within a minute of her hanging up, the two security officers are exiting the elevator.

Tony smiles, "Dewayne, Nick, long time no see."

"This the guy?" the biggest guy asks.

"Yep. Boys make sure that you show our guest out, all the way out."

"Absolutely," Nick agrees.

They skillfully escort him out of the squad room.

Tony returns to his desk, as the elevator doors close.

"May I make a suggestion?" Tony questions.

"I am not going to saw my son in half," Ziva replies.

"Just a suggestion. Although, in this scenario, you would have to cut him into three pieces. Which piece of him are you most attached to?"

"I am attached to all of him."

"Where is Caleb, anyway?"

"With Abby."

"Are you sure that is the safest place for him?"

"You think that Abby is going to let anyone take him?"

"No, but..."

"There are also two security guards posted outside of her lab."

"Does the director know any of this?"

"I..." she stops abruptly.

DiNozzo follows her line of sight. He looks behind himself, at the staircase. Leon Vance stands above him, on the landing.

"No. I do not know what's going on. Agent David is going to fill me in."

"I have to..." she begins.

"No, agent David, now."

"But..."

"Not a request," Leon adds.

She nods, and pushes herself away from the desk. She gets out of her seat, and slowly makes her way to the stairs. She follows Director Vance to his office.

When they reach the office he takes a seat.

"Close the door," he instructs.

She closes the door. She moves towards the desk, stopping behind the chair, on the other side of Leon's desk.

"Have a seat."

"I would prefer to stand," she admits.

"Agent David you are testing my patience. Have a seat."

She begrudgingly lowers herself into the chair.

"Would you care to tell me what's going on?"

"You don't already know?"

"I know that..."

"Just tell me what you know. It will be easier than me explaining something to you, that you already know."

"There have been a lot of people in and out of here, for you, in the past two days."

"Two people."

"That is above the normal."

"What is your point?"

"One of them was your mother."

"Yes."

"Who has never been here."

"And?"

"The other was an FBI agent."

"So?"

"They are not here for business."

"No."

"I got a call from your father, this morning."

"And I care, because?"

"He told me that he would be arriving later this afternoon."

"Arriving, where?"

"Here."

"In D.C.?"

"At NCIS."

"Why?"

"I believe his exact words were, 'To clean up this mess,'. Would you like to elaborate on that?"

"No."

"Why are there two security guards stationed outside of Miss Sciuito's lab?"

"Have you asked her?"

"She said that you put them there. They wouldn't even let me in. They said that I didn't have proper security clearance. I am the director."

"It is complicated."

"You had better start explaining."

"What did my father tell you?"

"That he is coming to help you clean up this mess."

"Help me?"

"That is what he said."

"I doubt that's true."

"What is the truth, Agent David?"

"I don't know."

"What is going on?"

"You really don't know?"

"No one will tell me anything. Everyone is tight lipped on this one. The only time I have ever seen them this tight lipped, is when they are protecting someone. They all seem to be protecting you. I want to know why. Did you commit a crime?"

"No."

"Are you being framed for a crime?"

"No."

"Why are they protecting you?"

"Everyone has secrets, even you."

"Ok. What secret do you have? What secret are they keeping for you?"

"It is no longer a secret."

"It is from me."

"I have a son."

"A son? I don't understand. Is this some kind of joke?"

"No."

"You have a son?"

"Yes."

"How old is he? Two, three?"

"Thirteen."

"Thirteen? You have a thirteen year old son? You're only..." he trails off.

"I know."

"Why is this just now coming out?"

"Because he lived with my mother. She hasn't let me see him, for years."

"Why not? He's your son."

"Because it's too traumatic."

"Why was your mother here?"

"Caleb chose to leave her, and come here, to stay with me."

"And the man?"

"Caleb's father."

"I see."

"I had no idea that this was going to..."

"Life is messy."

"I never meant to bring this to work."

"Did Gibbs know?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Your partner?"

"No," she repeats.

"Why not? Why didn't you tell them?"

"Until I came here, I never worked with anyone, that I could trust, with my secrets. I tried not to think about, because... it is not easy for me to deal with. I made mistakes. A lot of them. I was afraid that..."

He finishes the sentence, "That they would judge you? That they would see you differently?"

"Wouldn't they? I was too young, and I made decisions based on selfishness."

"Your father knows?"

"I was unaware of that, until just a few days ago."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Help? I thought that I was in trouble."

"You are, but we protect our own. So is there anything I can do to help?"

"Keep them away from here."

"Done. We'll talk about the ramifications of your poor professional judgment, later. I'll meet Eli at the door."

"Ok. Thank you."

"Now, go get back to work."

She nods, and leaves the room. As she exits the office the pocket of her pants vibrates. She pulls out the phone. She reads the text message from her partner.

_Chewed up, and spit out? _

As she comes down the steps she watches Gibbs sneak up on Tony, from behind. He smacks him on the back of the head.


End file.
